Korean Mother Chops Off Her Daughter’s Hair For Missing Curfew… And Sparks Intense Debate Over Gaslighting

“I think it isn’t that big of a big deal…”

On August 1, YouTube channel kiu shared a video of a 20-year-old Korean college student “A” visiting to get her hair done.

A shared that months ago, in April, her mom “chopped off [her] hair for missing curfew.”

I told her that I’d be coming home early that day. So she said I need to be home by 10PM. But I was hanging out with my friends and realized I’ll be running late. She pushed the curfew back to 12AM. I got drunk and lost track of time though. I ended up calling her around 12:50AM and she was like, “Where are you? I’m coming to pick you up.” So she showed up, I got in her car, and she got screaming upset. She threatened to cut my hair when we got home. I didn’t think she was being serious.

— A

A recalled that night she was “too drunk to realize what had happened and went to bed.”

We got home and she really did come at me with a pair of scissors. She grabbed my hair and said she’s going to chop it all off. I was too drunk, so I was like “Go ahead!” And she actually did cut it off. I went to bed not realizing what even happened. The next morning, I woke up and I was like, “Wait, where is my hair…?” When she came after my hair, my dad was with us. He was the one who picked up my hair. I think he grabbed like two bags worth of hair…

— A

After the crazed night, A shared that her mom “left and didn’t return for three days.”

After that, she didn’t come home for like three days. She left me a single text saying she’s sorry. She went to my oldest sister’s house and stayed there for a few nights. I think… she didn’t want to see me, maybe. I don’t know. I mean, I’m okay with it. I think it isn’t that big of a big deal. I was surprised to see people’s reactions to my picture…

— A

While YouTuber Kiu helped A salvage what is left of her hair and turn it into this cute short cut…

… the viewers grew outraged by A’s mother and her “unacceptably violent behavior” toward her own daughter.

| theqoo

  • “I can’t believe there are people out there who can say this isn’t abuse… Like what kind of families did you all grow up in to think this is acceptable?”
  • “Wow… I can’t imagine my parents coming at me and chopping all my hair off. And I’m shocked that there are people who think this ‘can happen‘ in families.”
  • “Chopping off someone else’s hair on a whim is violent. Between a mother and her daughter, it’s called abuse. Doesn’t mean because the mom apologized that it makes her actions acceptable.”
  • “You know, my sister almost went through the same thing when she was in school. I stopped my parents with force. It’s traumatic. I can’t believe some of you have the audacity to say, ‘Things may have been different for her family.‘ How? How is this different from all other forms of child abuse?”
  • “You know, this is indeed abuse… but I feel bad for the girl because she might read these comments.”
  • “There is a comment under the video that says, ‘Normal parents don’t point sharp things at their children‘ and I couldn’t agree any more. I really hope the girl realizes what is happening to her.”

It soon led to a heated discussion about “gaslighting” — or the manipulation of making victims feel like they are responsible for the situation. Most came to agree, “This is absolute gaslighting, whether she wants to acknowledge it or not.”

A’s picture on the day of the haircut. | kiu/YouTube

It shook me to my core that [A] kept saying that she was okay with her hair. How much abuse does one endure to become that numb to violence? She probably thinks she deserved the hair cut because she missed curfew. If that isn’t the most prime example of gaslighting, I don’t know what is. I hope that with these comments [A] learns that she has all the right in this world to be upset about her hair.

— Netizen

Watch the video here:

Source: THEQOO (1) and (2)
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