[★TRENDING] EXO’s Lay confesses, “I can’t afford to be heartbroken again”

After getting criticized for taking personal offense after being betrayed on a variety show, EXO’s Lay has opened up in regards to what happened in the episode.

In the second episode of Go Fighting!, Lay got extremely emotional after being betrayed by his partner, Sun Honglei. After the episode aired, many viewers criticized Lay for acting the way he did. Subsequently, he sat down with SE Weekly to talk about the incident, as translated below.

SE Weekly: Do you think your EQ is high enough?

Lay: I don’t know if my EQ is high or low, but I can admit that my reaction is a bit slow.

SE Weekly: You were feeling down during the second episode, what was the trigger point?

Lay: Actually, I had mixed feelings during that day. At the beginning, I trusted Honglei Hyung very much, but things happened later on. At the end, when he came to apologize to me, my heart actually already accepted the apology, but I really couldn’t accept taking the case [of gold bars] back. I didn’t know how to trust him again, and I was too afraid to trust again.

My heart felt really conflicted. From the beginning of the show, I wished to gain everyone’s trust, but at the end, when I couldn’t even trust someone who came to me with an apology, I actually cried as well.

SE Weekly: Describe the moment when Sun Honglei returned the case to you.

Lay: At the time, by the ferry dock, I actually didn’t know what Honglei Hyung was really thinking. Before going to the dock, I was with Huang Lei, Huang Bo, Wang Xun, and Luo Zhi Xiang (Show Luo) at a restaurant. When they called Honglei Hyung, he said to them that he couldn’t pick me up, and that I was the one who lied to him. I got even more angry after hearing this, but I didn’t show it.

When we reached the dock, I thought that it would be different if I was the one who wanted [the case] from him, and not, “I’m wrong so I’m giving it to you, and you have to take it.” But when everyone gathered together, I felt a lot of pressure when it was said, “Take it, take it. Hyung is wrong. Hyung wants to give this to you, so you must take it.” I was wondering, why does it have to be that way?

SE Weekly: When you were lied to by Sun Honglei, it seems that you were holding back tears. What were you thinking at that time?

Lay: During the filming, I actually did hold back the tears and didn’t allow them to fall. At that time, I was thinking that Honglei Hyung was really my idol. He was very perfect and was a hyung that I trusted very much. At the end, when he said he was willing to lose, I was willing to share my gold bars with him, because I’d rather sacrifice myself than to see him lose.

However, after he did this, there were so many thoughts inside me. I thought about how I helped a lot of people, whom I thought were my friends, in the past, but in the end, I didn’t gain the trust, understanding, or sincerity of these people. Sometimes, the problems that we have in real life would appear on screen.

SE Weekly: After battling with the hyungs, do you think your views of the world, standards, and life have collapsed?

Lay: Actually, my heart did collapse a little when I first started battling with the hyungs. However, I also understand and learned that a lot of things cannot be controlled and there can be lots of reasons behind them. I’m still learning a lot and I’m changing.

SE Weekly: In the first episode, did you really not realize that Huang Bo was stealing your plates? Some people have questioned that your “adorkableness” is all a lie. Are you like this in real life? How do you respond to this?

Lay: In regards to Huang Bo Hyung stealing my plates in the first episode, I saw it the first time. However, I saw him putting them on a different table, so I didn’t have any suspicions. But I didn’t know he took all of them later on. I really didn’t think of it, I really didn’t know.

Actually, the person that everyone sees on variety shows is not really different from the real me – it is really me. Therefore, there is no acting involved, I promise! In reality, we actually filmed the second episode first, and then the first episode where [I acted as] a spy after, so I learned a little bit.

SE Weekly: Netizens are saying that you are too real and don’t have the knack for variety shows. Do you agree?

Lay: At that time, I didn’t think about how I should face the audience, but rather I just conveyed my real feelings. Everyone thinks that those who were born in the 90s have a stubbornness that is reckless and wrong, but at that point in time, that was the real me. Perhaps [I was] slightly impudent and slightly too real, and wasn’t considerate of everyone’s feelings. In regards to this point, I am slowly learning and growing.

SE Weekly: Some thinks that you can’t afford to play [this game], and your personality is not suitable for reality shows. What is your view?

Lay: It’s not that I can’t afford to play, it is that [I can’t afford to] get hurt. I can’t afford to be heartbroken again.

SE Weekly: Dance, piano, guitar, composing, drawing, singing – you are good at all of these things. How do you do it?

Lay: Because I like [doing these things], so I persist and work hard while doing them. I focus on the areas that I need to focus on, and don’t give myself an opportunity to relax; therefore, I’ve become good at them. Maybe because I’m so focused on these things that I don’t understand this society well enough; therefore, I’m also slowly learning about this society.

Source: SE Weekly