BTS‘s V is Suga‘s most recent guest on YouTube interview show Suchwita, promoting his debut solo album Layover.
During it, V opened up about his struggles, revealing why he cried during 2018 MAMA. He and Suga confessed that they were all exhausted at the time.
At the time, everyone was so exhausted. Of course, we always did our best but there were many moments when we felt burned out.
V struggled with comparison, too. He felt like he was going slower than the other members.
It’s like… After some time had passed, I started to compare myself to others. ‘Because my pace is slower than the members, and my thoughts are a bit different. Is that why I’m more burned out?’ I thought this a lot whenever I looked at our members when we perform. The members are so perfect, and they enjoy the stage. ‘But why am I the only one like this?’ is what I thought at that time.
Despite all of BTS’s achievements at the time, from MAMA to AMAs to Billboard, V was overwhelmed. This resulted in severe burnout.
So, relatively, my burnout was severe. At the time, our results and circumstances were ones we should’ve been so happy about…
The BTS members questioned whether it was all worth it if it resulted in a decline in their health. Suga added, “But it was clear that that was what we had to do at the time.”
All of us were like… ‘So what if our results are good? Why do we have to hurt ourselves this much in pursuit of results?’ Those were my thoughts as I was exhausted.
V felt so exhausted, especially during the “Fake Love” era, that he wanted at least one day off to rest. So, he inquired if they could take a day off after filming the MV since there was a day with only dance practice scheduled.
I was so exhausted. I thought so much about taking just one day off; I was so tired I wanted one day off where I could do nothing. In 2018, after we shot the MV for ‘Fake Love,’ I was so exhausted that I asked, ‘Since tomorrow we only have dance practice, would it be okay if we took a day off?’
Unfortunately, the dance practice was too important to cancel since the group was preparing for the comeback. Yet, V felt he couldn’t do anything due to his exhaustion.
But we were preparing for our comeback, and it was an important dance practice, so we couldn’t rest. So, I was like, ‘I guess we can’t rest.’ And all this negativity piled up inside me. I didn’t think I could do anything in that state…
V was desperate to find a way to rest, so much so that he contemplated hurting or injuring himself to take a break and rest finally. He saw it as the only solution to his dilemma.
So, I kept thinking of ways I could rest, but I couldn’t think of anything. So, I even thought I should get hurt…
Now that BTS have persevered through these difficult times, the members look back and view it differently than their mindsets then.
So, I thought I should get hurt, but now I want to change that me of the past.
Read more about V’s struggles from that era below.