When this anonymous Korean woman “A” first got married, as shared in an online post, she went all out and gave herself a grand luxury wedding.
She commented, “My husband was a self-made doctor, so he wanted to celebrate his hard work and success with a fancy ceremony.”
The two exchanged their vows at an expensive hotel ballroom, which cost A a fortune. She didn’t mind because she was in love — but she came to regret the decision too soon.
Four months after we came back from the honeymoon, we filed for divorce.
Three years passed and A found love again. When the new man in her life proposed, she knew better. The wedding was a lot smaller, compared to her first one. But it was also a lot more successful.
I was embarrassed, kind of. But more so, I didn’t want to ask my parents for financial help for another big wedding. So we had a small, intimate wedding with what we could afford.
The dilemma struck when A’s sister — six years younger — also found the man of her dreams. While the news called for celebration, A became deeply conflicted.
My sister said she really wants to hold her wedding at the hotel where I got married to my ex-husband. She said that is her only wish. She doesn’t want any other options. She remembers it being incredibly beautiful and can’t wait to have that for herself.
Although A wanted the best for her younger sister, she also couldn’t quite imagine herself in that hotel ballroom ever again. Broken hearted, A turned to the internet for the right thing to do.
My mom tried talking me into it, saying my sister wants it so badly… But how could I possibly go back to that ballroom? I would literally die of shame. And now my sister is disappointed in me. She thinks it isn’t fair that I got to have the dreamy wedding, but she can’t. What do I do? Should I suck it up and let my sister do what she wants?
When the post trended among Korean netizens, the discussion got heated AF. Some believed the younger sister deserves what she wants on her special day, regardless of the older sister’s history.
- “It’s her life, her wedding. Let her have what she wants. Shame? Everyone already talked about you when you got divorced. That’s not your sister’s fault. If she really wants this, she should be able to have it.”
- “If that’s where she wants to get married, that’s where she should get married. If you interfere and prevent her from getting married there, she will hold that against you forever.”
- “Why does she have to think about your history of divorce though? It’s her wedding. Yours has nothing to do with it.”
On the other hand, some became absolutely baffled by the younger sister’s lack of consideration. Some even commented, “The younger sister sure won’t be the star of the show if she ends up holding her wedding at the same hotel.”
- “If I were the younger sister, I would not want the same wedding venue. Not because I care about my older sister’s feelings or whatever, but because I would want everyone to talk about me at my wedding. At the same hotel, the guests would only be talking about the sister’s previous wedding.”
- “I mean… does she really want to get married at a venue where the marriage ended up a failure in front of her own eyes?”
- “Think about the older sister’s current husband and the younger sister’s in-laws. Think about how they would feel when they hear the guests all talk about how the first wedding at this venue ended up. It wouldn’t hurt for the younger sister to be considerate.”
What do you think the sisters should do?